I was staring out the window at a flitting robin, copping out of writing this post about memory and playing with ideas for the title instead, when - eureka!
I found this post brave and original. It defies the normal conventions of an 'abuse memoir' because it faces head on the fact that memory can't be trusted. For example it is a bit of a shock to discover that the truer Captain Hook story (as relayed in the discovered letter from the time) is quite different from the story as it lay in the memory before the letter was read. For the reader this contradiction is almost disappointing. There is such a big market out there for abuse memoirs, but to be successful they must thought of as 'true.' I wonder how many book editors have encouraged authors to edit out any doubts they might have about their memories of abuse because such doubts will disappoint the reader? So, bravo for risking disappointing the reader! By taking this risk, The Drying Rooms goes much deeper into the impossibility of truly apprehending the past. Having said that I love the Maya Angelou quote cited in the other comment. It's so true that the memory of feeling in particular is very strong... I wonder why? I remember the name tapes on my clothes at boarding school. I remember a strange feeling of thrill at the sight of my name so neatly printed and repeated on everything I owned.
I came across your post on the LWS website. I love that you are exploring the veracity of your subjective childhood memories, and trying to square them with concrete, objective artifacts that prove the memories to be inaccurate. I have a terrible memory, studied the creation of false memories for my PhD, and now am ironically trying to write a memoir. So I am very happy to have found this piece, as I feel less alone.
There’s a Maya Angelou quote along the lines of how ‘you forget what people said, forget what people did, but remember how they made you feel…. ‘. How you were made to feel is the overriding memory.
I remember having name tapes on my sheets at boarding school too! I remember being quite comforted by knowing they were my sheets, and the familiarity of them….
My take on childhood memories is that it doesn’t matter if they are accurate or not. What is important is the memory is most likely based on how you felt at the time and your later feelings about the memory that are transposed onto it. The ‘false memory’ is an accurate portrayal of your emotional child. It could also be further muddled by the split self….I could very well be wrong but it’s an interesting idea.
I love the way you're tackling the unreliability of memories, Emma. And I'm glad Pieces of Light is proving useful!
Pieces of Light is so interesting. Illuminating! Thanks for the recommendation, Anna
I found this post brave and original. It defies the normal conventions of an 'abuse memoir' because it faces head on the fact that memory can't be trusted. For example it is a bit of a shock to discover that the truer Captain Hook story (as relayed in the discovered letter from the time) is quite different from the story as it lay in the memory before the letter was read. For the reader this contradiction is almost disappointing. There is such a big market out there for abuse memoirs, but to be successful they must thought of as 'true.' I wonder how many book editors have encouraged authors to edit out any doubts they might have about their memories of abuse because such doubts will disappoint the reader? So, bravo for risking disappointing the reader! By taking this risk, The Drying Rooms goes much deeper into the impossibility of truly apprehending the past. Having said that I love the Maya Angelou quote cited in the other comment. It's so true that the memory of feeling in particular is very strong... I wonder why? I remember the name tapes on my clothes at boarding school. I remember a strange feeling of thrill at the sight of my name so neatly printed and repeated on everything I owned.
I came across your post on the LWS website. I love that you are exploring the veracity of your subjective childhood memories, and trying to square them with concrete, objective artifacts that prove the memories to be inaccurate. I have a terrible memory, studied the creation of false memories for my PhD, and now am ironically trying to write a memoir. So I am very happy to have found this piece, as I feel less alone.
Thank you so much for this, Jude. You are not alone.
There’s a Maya Angelou quote along the lines of how ‘you forget what people said, forget what people did, but remember how they made you feel…. ‘. How you were made to feel is the overriding memory.
I remember having name tapes on my sheets at boarding school too! I remember being quite comforted by knowing they were my sheets, and the familiarity of them….
Maya Angelou is spot on! Thank you. Fascinating that you had your own nametaped sheet at your school!
My take on childhood memories is that it doesn’t matter if they are accurate or not. What is important is the memory is most likely based on how you felt at the time and your later feelings about the memory that are transposed onto it. The ‘false memory’ is an accurate portrayal of your emotional child. It could also be further muddled by the split self….I could very well be wrong but it’s an interesting idea.
Thank you, Polly. Interesting. I agree about the split self further muddling things. Food for thought.