You maintain the engrossing tension between the horrors the little girl is experiencing, the vivid details of the era and the adult reflections so successfully. The paragraph that starts ‘She feel sorrier for herself now …’ really resonates.
There’s such a disconnect between your school and then holidays in distant hot places with exotic inhabitants! It must have been hard. My memory of tummy troubles is the constant nervous stomach of more anxiety than pain.
I am starting to catch up and will keep reading. The mouse hammock is such a wonderful, humorous description (and the Cross My Heart Bra...I remember seeing those ads, too) in the midst of the parts that are completely devoid of humor, humiliating and painful.
I think the threads of cruelty in all the chapters, the deliberate humiliation about the bed wetting, the breast checks (described in this chapter), the all pervasive fear (of the matron), are a story of serious abuse. So the split self referred to in a previous author's note comes from the general experience of boarding school yes. But there is also a particular story underneath that; a story of regular, sustained abuse on the part of this matron. What is the psychological effect of this? It cannot just be folded into the general trauma of boarding school and separation from loved parents. The story of a little girl being systematically abused by an adult with total control over her also stands alone, underneath everything else. No wonder then that there are memories of "stomach migraines" and visits to a psychiatrist, and Librium...my heart goes out to this little freckle-faced girl just trying to make it through however she could.
I too suffered with stomach pains for years which was brushed off as indigestion by my parents. I’m more inclined to think it was “shards of homesickness in the interstices around her guts”. I grateful for this insight. Thank you. Oddly enough I only got these episodes in the holidays. I recall vividly the pains easing as I lay on my back on a bench outside a restaurant in Maine USA. I had left a glittering room with large round tables dressed in long white table cloths.
Wonderful Emma. I love the way we dart back and forth between cold drudgery and luxury, exoticism, fragrance. It’s brilliant. Have you seen The Queen’s Gambit?
You maintain the engrossing tension between the horrors the little girl is experiencing, the vivid details of the era and the adult reflections so successfully. The paragraph that starts ‘She feel sorrier for herself now …’ really resonates.
Thank you for this, Helen. So interesting to know what resonates. That 'sorrier for herself' line crept in on a late edit.
There’s such a disconnect between your school and then holidays in distant hot places with exotic inhabitants! It must have been hard. My memory of tummy troubles is the constant nervous stomach of more anxiety than pain.
Thank you for sharing this, Angelique. So hard for a child to carry that constant nervous stomach.
I am starting to catch up and will keep reading. The mouse hammock is such a wonderful, humorous description (and the Cross My Heart Bra...I remember seeing those ads, too) in the midst of the parts that are completely devoid of humor, humiliating and painful.
I think the threads of cruelty in all the chapters, the deliberate humiliation about the bed wetting, the breast checks (described in this chapter), the all pervasive fear (of the matron), are a story of serious abuse. So the split self referred to in a previous author's note comes from the general experience of boarding school yes. But there is also a particular story underneath that; a story of regular, sustained abuse on the part of this matron. What is the psychological effect of this? It cannot just be folded into the general trauma of boarding school and separation from loved parents. The story of a little girl being systematically abused by an adult with total control over her also stands alone, underneath everything else. No wonder then that there are memories of "stomach migraines" and visits to a psychiatrist, and Librium...my heart goes out to this little freckle-faced girl just trying to make it through however she could.
I too suffered with stomach pains for years which was brushed off as indigestion by my parents. I’m more inclined to think it was “shards of homesickness in the interstices around her guts”. I grateful for this insight. Thank you. Oddly enough I only got these episodes in the holidays. I recall vividly the pains easing as I lay on my back on a bench outside a restaurant in Maine USA. I had left a glittering room with large round tables dressed in long white table cloths.
Gosh, that sounds so similar, Polly. Thank you for sharing it.
Wonderful Emma. I love the way we dart back and forth between cold drudgery and luxury, exoticism, fragrance. It’s brilliant. Have you seen The Queen’s Gambit?
Thank you, Ruby. Yes, I have seen the Queen's Gambit. So interesting that it springs to your mind in relation to what I've written.
Thank you, Dawn. So glad you like the humour.