To describe the lasting effects of early boarding as a hidden trauma is not an exaggeration. These are not children taken into the care of the local authority because of family breakdown but they are casualties of a system of apparent privilege.
Joy Schaverien, Boarding School Syndrome, 2015
In 1963, a month before my eighth birthday, I was sent to a supposedly progressive, coeducational boarding school in the English countryside. From that moment, my childhood was split between school and home (a succession of embassies, usually in hot countries).
Sixty years later, I embarked on writing a children’s novel set in a boarding school. In the novel, Maudie (a plucky eight year old with a shameful secret) rallies her friends and together they find the courage to expose the abusive, tyrannical regime of the cruel matron who rules the girls’ dorm-block with fear and punishments. In the end, thanks to the children, the cruel matron is brought to justice.
Of course, it wasn’t like that in real life. In real life we had no agency.
The Drying Rooms is a memoir that evolved out of what I thought would be a quick, simple exercise that would enhance the novel – that of accessing my memories by walking my mind through the settings of my childhood. I saw this as purely process not product, so I just let stuff happen.
Right from the start, I found myself holding the hand of a child as I walked through the school gates. As we walked together through the school and opened - or avoided opening - long forgotten doors, I became as fascinated by the slippery nature of my memory as the memories themselves. And I couldn’t stop myself from switching between the 1st and 3rd person. I knew this was confusing but I didn’t care, because the only reader was me and it felt completely natural being both I and she.
Also, it somehow fits with what I now know about the boarding school ‘split’ self.
Alongside the chapters, I am also posting the occasional Author’s Note. On the notion of the boarding school ‘split’ self, see Author’s Note: You’re not allowed to cry.
And Maudie’s shameful secret was my shameful secret. I wet the bed and was punished for it. Just like George Orwell — see Author’s Note: George Orwell wet the bed.
I also went to a British boarding school as a young child and was absolutely miserable particularly in the early years. I am only now, in my late 50s, starting to understand how damaging it was for me. Emma Parsons' bravery in facing her memories and her ability to evoke those memories through vivid and powerful writing brings me comfort. I hope it will do the same for many others
I love your introduction and feel instantly connected to what you're saying. I started boarding school age 10. I was an avid fan of Enid Blyton's 'Mallory Towers' and I was excited to be old enough to join this community of girls having midnight feasts and adventures together. My big sister - 5 years older - was already there and she told me 'you'll learn' but I had no idea what she meant. The whole experience was deeply damaging and of course normalised by everyone in my world. My siblings appear to have lived on unscathed. I know on the inside I haven't. I am very much looking forward to learning more from your experience.